Reflecting on Part One of "Passing"

In class today, we discussed the different relationships of the three main characters and how they were different from each other.  This really helped me to understand some things.  Irene was upper classed, married to a doctor, and liked to travel.  She bought her boys the best and made sure they had whatever they wanted.  Maybe that is why she didn't feel the need to "pass", even though she did without trying.  She said she didn't care that her husband and one of her sons couldn't pass, but as we keep reading maybe we will find out different.

Claire was poor.  Her mother died when she was very young, and her 1/2 black father was a drunk who beat her until he died after a bar fight.  She didn't know nice things or nice people.  She was also raised by white women (her aunts), which was probably the first time she felt loved, and wanted to do whatever she could to keep that love, even if it meant leaving her roots behind.  I didn't think about how sad and hurt she must be, and that she is the way she is because the only other option would be a very dark place.  Her husband is the first man to love her, and with her daddy issues, she will do whatever she has to to keep that love, even if it means lying to him.  I think Irene may come to realize this as we read on.

It didn't tell much about Gertrude, but she seems like the happy medium of the story.  She passes like the rest of them, but her husband knows.  She seems happy enough with it, but maybe the afternoon with Jack changed her mind.  It will be interesting to see how each of these characters lives turn out and what decisions they choose to make.  I think this story is really interesting.  I like ballsy writers.  They are the best kind.

Until next time,

Keri Jo

"Passing" Part One

Nella Larsen is an African American writer, with West Indian and Danish ancestry as well.  Having grown up tin the 1920's she got to see what "Passing" was all about.  Blacks would pass over the "color line" and choose to live white, leaving behind their black ways, friends and family.  Then some would desperately long for blacks, and miss their old lives.  Some said that the whites didn't know how to have fun like the blacks did.  But it was told that these African Americans were in a dangerous life of self-hating for not wanting to be black.  We should be happy about who we are, and never try to be something we are not, but at the time this was the way things were done.  Larsen had a personal experience of her dad leaving the family, and her mom remarrying a white man.  "Passing" was originally named "Nig" but she changed it because it was too controversial.  The introduction gave a preview of how race comes into play in "Passing" and how no one can really answer the question, "What is race?"

In class we talked about race as being the physical characteristics.  On job applications it will ask for you to mark your race.  They have white, African American, Hispanic, Native American, Asian, etc.  They are pretty broad groups.  During class discussion, I will need to find out why this color line was being crossed because I don't really understand it, and what the class thinks race is after reading this book.

I didn't understand what passing really was from the introduction.  But after reading the first part of this book, I had a sad realization.  They weren't just living white.  People thought they WERE white.  And they were okay with that! They were okay with being called the 'N' word because they didn't want to blow their cover.  How wrong were these people!  Why make yourself feel so much pain and live in a lie?  Claire didn't care that her husband was a racist.  That just seems wrong to me.  Irene had the right idea.  And I think she was the happiest of all the characters because she was being true to herself.  Who cares about money or fame if you can't be YOU.  That reminds me of a lyric from an Avril Lavigne song:

"LA told me, you'll be a rock star, all you have to change, is everything you are"

It's almost like selling your soul.  You are selling yourself out for things that don't even matter.  I know that because of racism and the way blacks were treated that some of them longed to be white, but this is just wrong.  We are all different, we are all unique, and we need to embrace that, not hide from it.  I have a hard time being myself sometimes because I am different that a lot of students here.  I'm more shy, anxious, and awkward, so I sometimes hide and become anti-social rather than letting people know the real me (which is basically a dorky nervous chick).  But this is wrong.  If someone doesn't love you for exactly who you are, then they aren't worth your time.  We deserve better.  We have to love ourselves as God made us.

Until next time,

Keri Jo

Returing to "Recitatif"

Class discussion helps.  But it also hurts.  Let me explain.

I didn't know what the title meant and honestly was too lazy to Google it.  But... I thought it might have something to do with Roberta's illiteracy because I couldn't read it.  Good title though.  Really creative.  Kudos to Ms. Morrison, she's a damn good writer.  Music.  I know in class we talked about the musical part being the sing-songy happy part... but I still have that dramatic, sort of like opera, singing and booming of drums in my head that goes better with the bad parts.  Then the drama is over and the music and singing stops, and they just go back to talking.  Maybe I'm alone in this, but try to imagine it if you want.

How it hurt...

I did not ONCE think that Roberta might be white and Twyla might be black.  It never crossed my mind.  The hair thing in the beginning, I've heard that before.  And in my head I didn't see a big white woman with a Bible that brought her daughter fried chicken.  That's terrible...but true.  The first time they met, I didn't think a white girl in the 60's would know about Hendrix before a black girl would.  This is all so terrible, I feel really bad because it seems like most the class at least recognised that they could be the other way around.  Stereotypes suck.

Our parents teach us about other races by using stereotypes - like the Disney movies - and before we know it we are using them on a subconscious level.  That's kinda scary.  I don't want to think like this.  Like in my blog before, when I wished we were all colorblind.  I want that again.  I want that big Mr. Clean Eraser so I can take it to my brain and make all my thoughts like that disappear.  It makes me want to disappear.

This is definitely a story I want to do a response paper on.  There is so much more to explore with this, I actually wish we could spend another class period on it, but I'm sure the next piece we read will mess with my mind just as much, it seems to be a reoccurring theme in this class.  ;)

Until next time,

Keri Jo

Textbook Wars

Wow... It's hard to believe things like this are real.  That people are really like that.  That's why people hate Americans.  They think we're all conservative.  Well that's where they're wrong.  And I know one thing for sure... my kids won't be going to school in Texas! 

Haha these a-holes have been fighting for as long as we can remember.  It doesn't matter which you are really, as long as you are a good and ethical person.  But for the most part, Republicans suck.  That's right, I said it.  And I'm a journalist, so get used to it.  But in all seriousness, this is crazy!  They want to erase American history with fairy tales because they tell nicer? ***************************************
 Let's just play Disney movies in history class instead.   Man people like this get my blood boiling.  I guess we will have to be responsible for our own children's education and make sure they know the truth. Or move to Canada ;)

What is happening in Texas shows that history has probably always been skewed by people like this.  Zinn showed us that the history we all learned about in high school wasn't all there.  It was...changed.  It told nicer.  If this keeps happening, before we know it none of us will be able to remember the truth.  That's what they want. Brainwashing.  Okay, maybe that's a little cynical, but really? Our history is already told nicer than it actually happened, they shouldn't make it any worse.  This is just a case of a bunch of red necks with POWER DOMINANCE over people with actual brains.  I don't think all conservatives would agree with what they are doing, but it's acts like this that give them a bad name.  It might be stereotypical but so is everything.  They will never agree with each other.  But one thing we all should agree on is that this is a BAD idea.  I'm not going to lie to my children.  Are you?

Until next time,

Keri Jo

RECITATIF

RECITATIF. Okay, first off, what the heck does the title say?  Irregardless, what an amazing story!  For the first time this year I couldn't put down a book no matter how hard I tried.  I like that feeling.  We get so busy we seldom have time to enjoy literature, but this story gave me no choice. Okay.  So we got a white girl and a black girl in an orphanage.  They are different.  They look different, smell different, eat different foods, and their mothers are different.  But they become friends.  They play, they share. They do each other's hair.  It was a lot easier because they didn't know.  They didn't know why their parents didn't want to be introduced.  They just didn't know. 

As we get older, we start to realize things about differences.  Sometimes there are walls there that we didn't even put up.  They have just been there for so long no one can take them down.  No two people anyways.  These walls are so big it would take all of us.  Well, most of us.  But the girls find this out as they get older.  When they meet in the coffee shop, Roberta acts like she is better than Twyla.  But then like 10 years later, they both have money so that means they are the best of friends?  I think it has to do with the times.  When they were little, nothing mattered.  Because nothing like that does when you're a kid.  As teenagers, I'm guessing in the 50's, they weren't suppose to be friends.  But in the 60's, was there more peace among different races?  We will have to discuss this in class because I am bad with history.  I do know that segregation (or the end of it) had them both fighting.  I think that's why they had to change schools.  Because black kids couldn't go to the same schools (or could go now?).  I forget sometimes that that wasn't that long ago that people acted like that.  I would like to think it was hundreds of years ago.  But Roberta is fighting for the right to say which school her kids can go to.  Twyla is fighting just to be mean to Roberta.  She wants to fight for her side, but doesn't even understand what she's fighting for.  She made it personal.  

At the end, they are trying to figure out their memory about Maggie.  Did it matter if she was black or white?  It sure did while they were fighting.  But it doesn't.  Because NO ONE should get kicked like that.  I'm sure today people would see it as a hate crime. I don't like that.  It's like, two people of different color have nothing to fight about except race.  You get in a fight with someone from a different race, people start talking.  When it could just be a regular fight.  But anyway, Maggie got beat up.  And the girls both seen her as a vision of their mothers and wanted to hurt her too.  They never remembered what happened, and as close as they might have gotten after the story was over, there would have always been those walls.  The walls that keep us from understanding how other races FEEL.  Like, I know racism creates a bad feeling.  You get angry, upset, embarrassed maybe.. but I've never had anyone be like that towards me, and so the walls go up.  I honestly don't know HOW that feels.  It will take years for us to bring down these walls. Decades.  Who knows if they will ever come down.  But all we can do is try.

Until next time,

Keri Jo

Rethinking Class Discussion

Today was an interesting day to say the least.  But something happened.  After class, after dinner, I was typing up my Spanish homework when something on the television caught my ear.  I was just thinking about how frustrated I was because I didn't understand what happened today, and feeling mixed feelings about wanting it to continue.  I don't even watch "The Office," although Steve Carell is hilarious, but I turned around because I heard them talking about teaching racial tolerance.  I'm not sure if this is an old episode or a new one, but the few minutes I watched made me feel better.  Racism is a serious problem, but comedians make light of it all the time.  So if we go to comedians and laugh, why are cartoons offensive?  I realized I was still using the part of my brain I used when I watched those Disney movies fifteen years ago.  I was only looking at the good parts.  When I was a kid, I only saw the good parts because no one taught me about bad things like racism.  But today, I didn't see the bad parts because I was afraid to.  And I was still angry and still confused and still wondering why can't we just pretend there is no color until I heard a voice behind me say how pretending there is no color is just fighting ignorance with ignorance.  Maybe I just needed to hear someone else say it.  But I thought I'd share the clip, because it made me feel like discussing racism, while it will be difficult, might be a good thing after all, if done in a calm setting.  This clip isn't for laughs, it's for educational purposes.  Steve Carell's character, Michael, has done a Chris Rock skit at work, and people complain, causing the office employees to take a racial tolerance class.  Just pay attention to what Mr. Brown is trying to teach.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hb-meG47XWM

The crazy part is, the person (Michael) that needs the most education in this department is the one who doesn't understand it.  I think this happens a lot.  And I think people get mad and let their emotions fly off the handle because they are offended by something that wasn't meant to offend.  But that was one of the questions in class.  Does motive matter?  Does it matter if you are just quoting a comedian or rapping along to your favorite song?  Why is it funny when Chris Rock says a bad word but not when Steve Carell does?  Okay answer that.  You said because Chris is black and Steve is white.  Now tell me why it's okay for Eminem to say it.  Is it okay because he's friends with black people?  No it's because it's music.  Entertainment.  Right?  Which is it?  Because honestly I don't know where the line is anymore.  People spent so many years being racist that now, as we are trying to go the opposite direction of our grandparents, I feel like anything I say or do could be taken in an offensive way.  Cartoons are racist? So what is there going to be an eternity of people walking on egg shells and being too scared to say their opinion or what?  I'm so frustrated at not knowing what is okay anymore that I just shut down earlier and decided I was not going to be a part of this because it is too hard.  But something in me changed when I heard that actor on "The Office" talking about the same thing that had been bothering me all day.  I want to learn, and understand how other people feel, and WHY they feel that way, but I don't want to be attacked or called names for having an opinion.  So let's try this again.  Play nice.

Mending Wall by Robert Frost

Oh Frost, you are so famous for your poetry, yet I often feel frustrated by it.  When a poem flows like a poem ought to (purely my opinion) I find them so much easier to interpret.  I read between the lines and look for a hidden message, and am disappointed when there is nothing to be found between the lines.  I was looking for some sort of romance, two lovers with a wall built between them, but I think he was just talking about his actual neighbor.  I don't like poems that read more like short shorts.  But it has to be that way, because some poets have short stories to write and cannot.  I know I am slightly gifted in poetry writing, if and when the mood strikes me, but my short stories aren't very good.  I am me.  I am not Tom, Barbara, Cindy or any other protagonist.  I write how I feel.  People who write short stories, on the other hand, become Tom, Barbara, or Cindy and write amazing short stories and become other people, but often can't get personal enough in self indulgence to pour out their feelings into poetry.  This was my last literature instructor.  Awesome short stories, but said he had trouble with poetry.  So I think when poets want to to both, they have to write like how Frost wrote this one.

In this poem, the speaker has a neighbor who doesn't want to be friends.  He wants to keep the wall up and keep to his own.  The speaker, I think, wants to be friends and take down the wall.  He doesn't understand why his neighbor thinks this way.  People are just different.  It's just like in college.  We don't get to pick our roommates sometimes, and sometimes they are different.  I can relate to this speaker because of my experience with my roommate.  I didn't want walls put up.  I wanted to be friends.  She preferred walls.  So it didn't work out.  She couldn't build a wall high enough and moved.  At least that's my interpretation.  But in life we will always have that person in the next cubicle, next house, next bed, that has a say in how high the wall will become.  Everyone is different.  Everyone is unique. And in life we will all be challenged by walls.  Sometimes it is just best to quit trying to climb over them and just walk past to the next one that isn't so high.

Walls don't have to mean no relationship though.  Sometimes they just mean a limited one.  I did have a few questions about this poem though.  What the heck was he talking about cows for?  Was it because walls are only needed to keep in animals, not keep out people?  I'm not sure, so I'll have to remember to ask about it in class.  I enjoy getting other peoples' interpretations on literature.  I wish that's all we did in class was talk about one piece for fifty minutes.  We would get so deep in discussion in my other literature class that our instructor once said, "Wow, we might as well be sitting around here getting stoned because this discussion is getting so deep."  Perhaps I will take my career as a journalist and become a literary critic.  Then I would be doing what I love.

Until next time,

Keri Jo